The Rehearsal That Never Ends

I have this habit of rehearsing conversations in my head that never happen.

At a networking lunch last week, someone brought up using AI in elementary schools. While they talked, I was mentally crafting exactly what I'd say—how it could be a helpful tool for personalized learning but shouldn't replace human connection, how we need to teach kids to think critically about AI-generated content. But by the time I'd perfected my delivery, the conversation had moved on to debating whether the salmon or chicken was better. To everyone else, I probably looked like I was nodding along politely, but inside I had this whole presentation ready that no one would ever hear.

I'm not naturally someone who shares thoughts easily. Growing up, I was the kid who processed everything internally first. I still am. My mind is a constant stream of consciousness, analyzing yesterday's conversations, wondering what I should have said differently, and mentally drafting responses to hypothetical situations. Meanwhile, in the actual world, I'm the person who says, "Sounds good!" to almost everything and keeps most real thoughts locked away.

I've been thinking about this gap between the complicated person I am internally and the agreeable person I present to the world. It's like being a duck—calm and gliding smoothly on the surface while paddling frantically underneath where no one can see.

So this is my attempt to bridge that gap. To take some of these thoughts that have been bouncing around my head and see what happens when I let them out. Maybe not all of them yet. But some.

Consider this my invitation to myself to stop rehearsing...and start sharing.

This is post #1 of thoughts I used to keep to myself.